You have dialed 716 458 8000, Sykes Datatronics’ demonstration number for Comm-Net 3000. Press 1 for English. Нажмите 2 для русского.
I’m sorry, 6 is not a valid option. Please hold.
Comm-Net 3000 is a national leader in automated voice response systems. Press 4 to learn more. Press 5 to learn even more. Press 6 to learn more than you ever wanted to know. For all of the above, please stay on the line.
I’m sorry, *HANG UP* is not a valid option. Please refer to the User Guide, or press 6 for an overview of all options available to you. Comm-Net 3000 is very intelligent, with 15 Megahertz processing power and 16 linked high-speed tape drives. Press 7 if you would like to purchase your own Comm-Net system. Press 8 if you would like Comm-Net 3000 to purchase you.
I’m sorry, *FUCK YOU* is not a valid option. I’m glad to hear of your interest in purchasing a Comm-Net system. We have automatically charged $5818.23 to your credit card. Comm-Net 3012 will be arriving at your door at about 4:30 AM tomorrow.
I’m sorry, the Comm-Net system is down for scheduled maintenance. Please call back tomorrow between 9 AM and 5 PM. Thank you.