Fuck Urbex

Fuck urbex. Fuck UER. Fuck the scene, or community, or whatever the fuck you want to call it. Fuck all the elitism, fuck the secrets, fuck the dick waving, fuck the trolling. Fuck your meets and their invitations, fuck the forums and their flames and bans. Fuck calling it tourism if it’s easy, fuck calling it infiltration when it’s hard. Fuck fences, fuck security, fuck having to climb into a third floor window. Fuck your drama, fuck trying so hard to leave me out. Fucking shit! Whatever happened to just finding some friends, some beer and an old shitty factory and having a good time? Whatever happened to just having some pictures and showing off the awesome places you’ve been, and taking more friends there next time? Whatever happened to just getting outside for a weekend and spending some time in the woods, hot summer nights and bonfires in the cold? Whatever happened to just going on an adventure? Anyone who thinks I’m making some sense, let’s make plans!

As some of you know, it’s been my goal for quite a few years now to go to a UER meet (or any other similar one, if such things exist). It seemed like this week would be my chance, I found out a few days ahead of time — unusual enough, in its own right — about an event in Cincinnati, and not only that it exists, but at least one of the places where people might meet during the weekend. Now of course I’m not invited to such things, considering that I’ve been banned for over three years, but people seemed somewhat receptive to the idea that I could go and participate in at least a small part of the event, so I planned a trip to spend a few hours in Cincinnati. Normally I won’t go somewhere when the travel time is at least 4 times as long as I’d spend exploring, but this was a unique case, having an opportunity, finally, for this long awaited event.

Unfortunately, in the last hours before I left, things started to turn sour, and by the time I was on the bus to Cincinnati, the outcome looked futile at best. Once I got to Ohio, that had degenerated into an absolute “no”. Even the Starbucks where people might have stopped by to meet me for breakfast was off limits to the meet crowd, but I waited there all morning just in case someone might break the picket line. No one did, of course. And to add insult to insult, I couldn’t even go to Lexington to meet up with my friend, considering that he decided to take a last minute hiking trip in Tennessee.

So there I was, stuck in Cincinnati by myself. You could say it was my own mistake to even try, but really it goes beyond that. The UE scene wouldn’t leave one of their own behind. Yet they took great pride, sadistic joy even, in knowing I came all the way to Cincinnati just to see them, and they could shut me out regardless.

I refuse to explore alone, so trying to get into any places was out of the question, but I still spent the day wandering around looking for anything abandoned, particularly anything abandoned and crawling with explorers. As angry and depressed as I was, I didn’t even bother taking any photos, but I did at least find a few things to add to the map, and a few locked doors and insurmountable fences around what I thought were promising spots. The one thing I never found? Any sign of VCXP3X. Obviously.

When I finally got on the bus out of Cincinnati, it wasn’t a moment too soon. The only positive out of this is, I have some ideas of where to try next year, and I plan on coming back at least once, with a friend this time, to crash this meet in style, seeing as it’s probably the only one I’ll ever get into.

And as I said: I can’t fucking stand the UE scene. Anyone want to put some bullshit behind them for a while and just explore? I’ll go wherever I’m wanted. I’d been thinking about having a farewell tour, spending a week this spring exploring everything I could and just quitting. I know as well as anyone though I won’t quit, even though I’ve been going on for so long about a farewell tour. Look how well it’s worked for Bob Dylan, Elton John, even the Rolling Stones (in 1977)… And at this rate, as hostile as everyone has turned over my Cincinnati doings, I won’t even have anyone left to go with by April, so I’m starting now. I know mine will be about as sincere, but if they managed a comeback maybe so could I?

So, from now on, through as much of this winter as I still have places to go and people to see, let this be the beginning of the Fuck It Tour. Anything I can get to and back from in a weekend, anyone willing to spend that weekend with me, I’ll be there. I’ve hit the bottom, I’m exploring like I’ve got nothing left to lose. Fuck it!

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